Dear Fans of me, the Greatest Quarterback of All-Time, Tom Brady,
It is I! Tom Brady!
It’s come to my attention that in my initial retirement announcement, I appeared to “snub” some people and places that were hugely important to my success on and off the field. It was suggested I correct this. So, as people in one region would say, “It’s Time to Make the Donuts!”
Honey Dew Donuts, that is. Whether it’s their classic glazed or their s’mores hot chocolate, the Dew came through on Cheat Days. Occasional comfort food is important to one’s wellbeing – especially when you are playing in the backdrop of the Kennedy legacy.
For whether it was serving as a VJ on MTV or hosting her own show on Fox Business, Kennedy has always been a dynamic television personality – one I channeled for my own appearances. But if you’re talking about dramatic roles, there were no better mentors then Ben and Matt.
When the gang caught Ben Stiller yelling at the chick and duck on that episode of “Friends,” Matthew Perry’s brilliant delivery of the line “Step away from the duck” was one I often channeled under pressure. But to really get myself in the mood, I’d turn to that famous band cofounded by the legendary guitarist, Joe Perry.
And let me be the one to tell you, if you haven’t seen the Hollywood Vampires, you are really missing out. Those guys are a trip. But not a literal trip – like visiting the Cape.
You know, the one worn by Liberace. It was a true honor to pose for a picture next to it when it was on display. I heard they even made a movie about him starring Michael Douglas and…some other actor. But Liberace was a legend. Just like Big Papi.
Sorry, that was a typo. It should have read “Big Poppy.” And it’s time we get serious about America’s opium addiction. It’s a problem we need to address and resolve. The type of issue for which I’d call on someone important to me – the ancient, stoic, all-knowing man in the hood.
Yoda. After all, it was he who told me, “Thank the Krafts, you must.” So…I will.
I’d like to publicly thank all the Krafts – from Kraft salad dressing to Kraft parmesan to Kraft macaroni and cheese. They were perfect to top off a Honey Dew Cheat Day while I sat back, put up my feet, and watched the greatest sitcom ever about a bar where everyone knows your name.
“It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia.” All the characters are great, especially Mac. And I think we can agree he is far and away the most talented Mac and the only one who matters.
Love,
Tampa Tommy
P.S. Go Bruins!
You make everyone at UCLA proud!