Some January Jokes from "Rineman in the Morning"

Congressman George Santos claims he got both knees replaced after being a volleyball star in college. But he says he had to put off the surgery because he was pregnant.

Classified documents were found stuffed away in President Biden’s garage. Said Trump, “He has a toilet in his garage?”

After a grand jury in Georgia finished its election fraud investigation, and President Trump could be indicted. Which makes Trump the first guy to disguise himself by taking OFF a wig.

In California, mudslides forced Prince Harry to evacuate his home. And today, he brought a suitcase to Buckingham Palace and said, “You guys don’t watch ’60 Minutes,’ do you?”

A program can help you lose weight by electrocution. The way it works is, you die.

And after pleading guilty of fraud, “Real Housewives” star Jen Shah has been sentenced to six-and-a-half years of watching “The Real Housewives.”

A new study found that approximately 20 percent of Americans have used their partner’s toothbrush. Or, roughly 4 out of 5 dentists.

20 percent of Americans use their partner’s toothbrush. Even worse: it’s not always to brush their teeth

A lottery ticket worth 1.35 billion dollars was sold in Maine at a gas station. When asked what they plan to buy, the winner said, “Gas.”

A North Carolina man led police on a high-speed chase while driving a tractor. Which got worse when they pulled him over, and he tried to switch seats with his scarecrow.

New Hampshire residents are angry about the possibility of the state no longer having the first Democratic primary. Said one resident, “This will completely ruin the good name of Dixville Notch!”

Happy Birthday to talk show host Maury Povich! Yes, 84 years ago today, Maury looked up at his dad and said, “You ARE the father!”

A vaccine has been approved for honeybees to protect them from a bacterial disease. However, many bees say they’ll just wear a mask.

U2 will release a new album with 40 new recordings of their hit songs. Yes, new recordings of U2 songs – or as that’s also known, a Coldplay album.

Planes in the U.S. were grounded Wednesday morning due to a computer outage. In response, Southwest said, “That’s why we just use a notepad and crayons!”

Vince McMahon is selling the WWE to Saudi Arabia. When asked about doing business with a vicious tyrant known for crimes against humanity, Saudi Arabia said, “Vince isn’t THAT bad!”

January 10 is National Houseplant Appreciation Day! Which was invented by someone who just didn’t feel like throwing out their Christmas tree.

A new report claims that the reboot of “Frasier” will not feature the rest of the original cast. In fact, even the dog is a cat.