Just five days away from 2020’s hottest Halloween party game: Looking At Apples.
It’s a tough choice this year: give out candy to the kid dressed as a mummy, or mug him for the toilet paper?
And the 2020 Election will take place in just eight days. While my spiked shoulder pads and flamethrower will arrive in just seven days. (And that’s just for THANKSGIVING! #ButFolks)
Things are so tense in Seattle, the military is already stationed in case of unrest. Everybody’s fighting – when he wasn’t looking, Frasier poured 2% milk into Niles’ double decaf, non-fat latte, medium foam, dusted with just the faintest whisper of cinnamon.
President Trump mocked Joe Biden for seemingly calling him “George” instead of “Donald.” There’s an easy way to tell the difference: George hangs out with The Man in the Big Yellow Hat; Donald hangs out with The Guys in the Big White Hoods.
Biden was apparently referring to the fundraiser’s host, George Lopez. Said Trump, “Is he Cheech or Chong?”
Yeah, Trump mocked Biden for getting a name wrong. Then he went back to reading his grandkids a Halloween story about ‘Ichabod Pumpkin.’ “His horse didn’t have a head. Very sad. We only like horses with heads, don’t we, folks?”
In Florida, a man with a bulldozer destroyed a bunch of Biden campaign signs. Which is why Trump awarded the Presidential Medal of Freedom to Bob the Builder.
Hillary Clinton turned 73 years old today – just a week ahead of the election. And you could tell she was really making a wish when she blew out her candles…
A COVID-19 outbreak has apparently hit Fox News. Which explains their new show: “Fox & Friend.” (That’s for all the dads who watch Fox News.)
Tomorrow, the LA Dodgers will go for their first World Series victory since 1988. So between baseball and Trump’s “60 Minutes” interview, it’s been a big week for dodgers!
And lastly, Bette Midler confirmed the original cast of “Hocus Pocus” will reunite for a sequel. When asked if there was room for a fourth witch who hates holidays, they said, “We’ll let you know, Melania.”
Hey, speaking of reunions and Halloween… 🎃
TONIGHT IS THE NIGHT! AT 10 PM EASTERN TIME, THE FIRST EVER LIVE ANTI-SOCIAL SKILLS ON YOUTUBE! GO HERE TO WATCH IT (and comment AND suggest challenges) and once it’s over, go here to BUY THE GAME!! Can’t wait to not see you but for you to see me!!
Keep Yourselves Up and Go Kill Some ASS!
Jon